I’m notoriously cheap. I am one of those types who sits
around and evaluates the 10 available scenarios of every purchase to determine
the cheapest option. As a result, there are times I have stories that blow
peoples’ minds with what I’ve been able to save. Other times, well, let me just
tell you what happened yesterday as an example.
I needed to rent a UHaul vehicle to move a bunch of furniture
I bought and then help my cousin move. So, I evaluated the options - a big van
is $20 per day, a truck up to 18’ long is $30, a truck 20’ to 26’ is $40. The
catch is mileage which is an additional 79 cents per mile. OUCH. The guy pointed to the trucks and there was the 26' truck with a lovely tortoise painted on it looking all peaceful and the side advertised "Gentle-Ride." I only had a 4 mile trip to take, but I was thinking between the time it would take to drive back and forth and the fact that each 8 mile trip would cost me nearly $7 plus gas, I should just get the biggest truck possible and load it once and take one trip with it. Right?
God was I wrong.
First off, I’ve never driven a 26’ truck. I had NO idea the
ass of the truck can wipe out house decks if you don’t take corners wide
enough.
I didn’t really take the deck out entirely, honest. But, I
did move it about 3’. Don’t worry, I put it back and also checked the structural
integrity before leaving. I’m qualified, I swear!
Second of all, here’s something you might never think of (I
know I didn’t), if you’re pulling off a road up a hill, the ass end of the truck
(and that damned 8” extension of a trailer hitch) is getting lower and lower to
the road you’re leaving.
So, at the end of the a grueling 7.5 hours of loading the 26’ truck
full to the gills, I’m driving up upper Court Street at the blazing speed of 40
mph (the fastest the truck would go) and somehow I missed the turn into the
storage facility. No problem, I’ll just turn left into this motel and loop
through their parking lot then hang a right into the storage facility. They had
a nice (so I thought) pull-through driveway – albeit upgrade, but it wasn’t
anything I wouldn’t do with any other vehicle I normally drive so I didn’t
think anything of it.
I hung a left and
drove and upwards. Suddenly, I came to a stop. I was like, huh? Is this too
steep for the truck to climb? Are you kidding me? So, I pushed on the gas a
little harder then I heard this strange sound of tires spinning in mid air. Huh?
I was so confused. I put it in reverse, same sound. I was struck with total
confusion. I put the truck in park and got out.
Well, would you believe as I pulled off the road up the
grade, the hitch of the truck (that damned hitch) got so low that it ground
about ½” into the pavement and my rear tires were barely touching the ground? (!)
The entire truck was hung up on the hitch!
I laughed. I cried (you know, not really, but kind of like,
oh frick, what am I going to do now!?!).
I walked to the storage facility and found John the manager
(and miracle maker) and his buddy, maybe his name was Anthony, I’m not sure (I’ll
call him Great Smile Guy). Anyway, Great Smile Guy said, don’t worry, John is
THE MAN and he’ll figure out how to help you. John went and fetched a forklift
and risked his life picking the entire truck up while Great Smile Guy and I risked
losing our hands by sliding 4x4 blocks of wood under the tires and we moved the
truck 18” at a time by having John lift the truck up from behind while I backed
the truck up the length of the 4x4s we had (24” long ha!). For each 18”
maneuver, Great Smile Guy would stop all traffic both ways on Upper Court Street
while John was BEHIND the truck holding it up in the air while I was backing
up. Crazy. I kept thinking, please don’t let me kill him, please don’t let me
kill him!
All of the workers from the business across the street came
out to watch as did a couple drivers who pulled over just for the entertainment
– or maybe to be there in case someone got run over. I was blazing red with
embarrassment and anyone who knows me knows I am rarely embarrassed. At one
point I thought, thank god no one would know it’s me in this Uhaul. ‘Bing’
goes my phone, “Alexis, is that you at the motel in the Uhaul? I was just
driving by.”
No. God no, that is not me.
So, moral of the story is, if you’re not an experienced
truck driver, you (ok, I) have NO business driving a 26’ truck. And unless you
have miracle makers on-hand like John and Great Smile Guy, you are going to be
royally screwed if you get yourself in a pickle which you’re very likely to do
and it’ll end up costing you a fortune. Not to mention the deck. As it turns
out, 3 trips with a 18’ truck would have been just peachy and well worth 79
cents per mile.